Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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