Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
