she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize