I'm really into asian looking animals
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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