Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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