Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
