i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
