worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
