Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
