There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
