I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
