Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
