totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
