Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
