Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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