absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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