Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
