I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
