You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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