We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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