Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
