he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we're making bets on your personal life
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
