Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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