The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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