No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
