I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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