You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
