all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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