I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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