She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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