You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize