Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
