Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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