I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
