I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
