how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
