didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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