Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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