the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
