If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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