There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
