So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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