Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
