also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
