why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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