There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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