What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
