come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
