Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize