Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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