This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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