we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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