well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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