she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Still dying that you shit outside
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
