I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
