Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
