would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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