I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize