Please, let me fuck your mom
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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