I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
