i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
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I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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