can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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