I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
