Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
