Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
