i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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