I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
