ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
